Divorce and Separation - A Child?s Perspective

It is always the children that suffer the most when a marriage breaks down and separation or divorce is imminent. Children of divorcing parents often witness arguments even rows and this has a strong effect on any child. Children do not understand why parents argue and cannot relate to rows during the build up to a divorce or seperation. They become confused and insecure and their life seems as if it is in turmoil. Here we explain some of the issues from a child's perspective.

Children do not understand why parents no longer love each other and cannot stay together. Prior to divorce or separation they have only known that happy caring family environment which they were brought into. To them their world has been turned upside down and they cannot see why. If parents loved each other in the past, then why can't they love one another in the future.

Children often believe that they could be the reason for a break up in a marriage which can result in long term damaging guilt complexes. A child's character often changes during divorce or separation when things are not normal at home. Children can be very sensitive to the emotional environment.

During divorce or separation many children become disruptive at school, argumentative at home and some even go into a recluse. This can be a very lonely time, particularly if they are an only child. Their friends are not going through what they are emotionally. Hence they feel that they are the odd one out all of a sudden and do not know how to cope with the situation. All they want is for their life to go back to a normal family life where parents don't argue and row as it may have been before the stress of divorce or seperation.

When a couple decide that divorce is the only option and separation is a necessity, children are again the ones that it effects the most. They are told that they will be with one parent one day and the other the next. How are they supposed to form any kind of routine ? This can often result in children not sleeping in their own beds as they prefer the comfort and security of being with a parent. Children often feel insecure and are most vulnerable even at school when they listen to their friends planning family outings and holidays.

Children of divorcing parents can feel as though they are going to miss out on family events and get togethers. During a divorce each parent makes separate commitments to a child and It is important that when arrangements have been made by the parent or parents that they keep to them as the child will feel let down and resent a parent for not being there for them after they had said they would. Reliability and punctuality are of utmost importance to a child. They will clock watch and expect to see you on time and have been looking forward to spending time with you wherever you decide to take them. In a child's eyes it's you they want to be with and it's your time spent with them that's most important to them even after the divorce or separation.

Divorce can bring our the worst in people. Never run down the other parent in front of your child. This creates resentment and bad feelings all round. Also, never think that you can buy a child if you are late or fail to follow through with your promise. Although you may think that you are doing good for buying your child a toy to impress them - think again - keep that special toy for a birthday or Christmas present. Your time to be with them is much more valuable than a toy. Even after the divorce or separation they will remember where you took them and what a fantastic time you both had rather than a toy. They will talk about your outing or time together for days because it meant so much to them to see you and have you all to themselves. Quality time rather than quantity of toys is far more important to a child.

These are just some of the issues children face when parents are going through the throws of a divorce or separation and every attempt should be made by divorcing parents to limit or reduce these adverse affects upon children.

Jenny Clair is the editor of Marriage-Divorce-Separation.com an article based web site exploring the human side of marriage breakdowns, divorce and separation situations.

http://www.marriage-divorce-separation.com

In The News:


People Magazine

How Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin Are Staying Close Post-Divorce
People Magazine
... 38, set the tone for the next phase of their relationship the day after announcing their split by vacationing together in the Bahamas in March 2014 – and coincidentally, they will both be in New York City this week following Monday's finalization ...
Gwyneth Paltrow Files for Divorce From Husband Chris Martin One Year After ...Us Magazine
Gwyneth Paltrow files for divorce from singer Chris MartinYahoo News UK
Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin Finalize DivorceTIME
TMZ.com
all 342 news articles »

Us Magazine

Stephanie March Is "Terribly Upset" By Bobby Flay Divorce Drama
Us Magazine
Bobby Flay filed for divorce from his wife of 10 years, Stephanie March, earlier this month, and the messy split is turning ugly. Rumors began to swirl in the past two weeks that the celebrity chef, 50, was cheating on his wife for months if not years ...

and more »

New York Daily News

Angels outfielder Josh Hamilton files for divorce from wife of 11 years
New York Daily News
DALLAS (AP) — Angels' slugger Josh Hamilton is in the process of getting divorced from his wife Katie, according to court documents filed in North Texas. The divorce petition was filed in February in Tarrant County, where Hamilton played five seasons ...
Josh Hamilton Files For Divorce In Tarrant CountyCBS Local
Josh Hamilton files for divorce from wife, KatieESPN
Angels' player Josh Hamilton files for divorce from Real Housewives' KatieDaily Mail
OCRegister
all 219 news articles »

NESN.com

Josh Hamilton's Wife 'Blindsided' By Angels Outfielder Wanting Divorce
NESN.com
It recently was revealed that Josh Hamilton filed for divorce from his wife of 11 years, Katie, around the time his drug relapse went public in February. Apparently, she never saw it coming. Katie Hamilton told TMZ Sports that she was “blindsided” by ...
'RHOC' Star Katie Hamilton Says She Was 'Blindsided' By Divorce From Josh ...RadarOnline
Josh Hamilton's wife shocked by divorce filing: 'I've never cheated' on himDallas Morning News
Josh Hamilton -- Wife Blindsided By Divorce ... I Never Cheated On Him'TMZ.com
Bleacher Report -The Inquisitr -LA Daily News
all 54 news articles »

Chron.com

Sarah Jessica Parker returns to HBO with comedy 'Divorce'
Chron.com
LOS ANGELES - Sarah Jessica Parker's HBO follow-up to "Sex and the City" is a comedy about marital woes. The premium cable channel said Parker will star in a half-hour series titled "Divorce." She plays a woman who finds that making a break from her ...
Sarah Jessica Parker Back on HBO With New Series 'Divorce'Christian Post
Sarah Jessica Parker Returns To Our TV Screens in 'Divorce'...And We're VERY ...Marie Claire.co.uk
What's Sarah Jessica Parker's Most Memorable Purchase?Vegas Magazine
BREATHEcast
all 43 news articles »

Divorce papers served over Facebook: What this means for Michigan
WOTV
When you file for divorce the divorce complaint must be 'served' on the defendant, in this case your spouse, so that he has notice of the proceedings and have an opportunity to be heard. At times, it is difficult to serve papers on a spouse who either ...


Secrets of a Successful Divorce Mediation
Huffington Post
As a former litigator turned mediator, I'm frequently asked why divorce mediation works. My response is a list of benefits: "faster, costs less, resolves conflict, calms emotions instead of amping everyone up." But today, when reading Teri McCowen's ...


MarketWatch

After divorce, what happens to your employer stock options?
MarketWatch
According to the general rule for transfers of assets between spouses or ex-spouses under a divorce property settlement, the transfers are treated as gifts between spouses for federal tax purposes. As such, the transfers are federal-income-tax-free and ...


Los Angeles Times

Missy Peregrym, Zachary Levi go from surprise wedding to quick divorce
Los Angeles Times
The consciously uncoupled Oscar winner filed for divorce from the Coldplay frontman nearly a year after they'd announced their infamous parting of ways and about two years after they listed their date of separation. The couple is seeking joint legal ...
Zachary Levi and Missy Peregrym to Divorce: Couple Split Less Than 1 Year ...E! Online
Zachary Levi & Missy Peregrym Secret Wedding Ends In Even More Secret ...TMZ.com
Zachary Levi & Missy Peregrym: Couple Splits After 10 Months Of MarriageHollywood Life

all 41 news articles »

New York Daily News

NJ jury finds Orthodox rabbi guilty of kidnap-divorce plot
New York Daily News
A New Jersey jury found an Orthodox rabbi and two other men guilty of conspiring to kidnap Jewish husbands and violently force them to grant their wives religious divorces. Prosecutors charged Mendel Epstein, 69, and nine other men who beat and ...
Rabbi's bid for mistrial in forced-divorces case rejectedNewsday
Jury finishes 2nd full day without verdict in divorce trialBeaumont Enterprise

all 40 news articles »
Google News

Rebuilding Your Life from the Ashes

One peculiar feature of a stepfamily is that they are... Read More

Reasons You Arent Starting the Decision Making Process About Whether To Get a Divorce Or...

Stay MarriedAlong with any tough decision comes reluctance, especially when... Read More

Things To Consider When Making A Decision About Divorce

When making a divorce decision, there are quite a few... Read More

How to Recover From Divorce

As a licensed mental health professional, I work with many... Read More

Alienation of Affection - Interference with marriage can cost big bucks in North Carolina

Non-lawyers are often surprised to learn that a spouse can... Read More

Divorce and Separation - A Child?s Perspective

It is always the children that suffer the most when... Read More

Divorce--How to Beat the System

Of course you want to get your Judgment--that's the goal... Read More

The Heart Moves On: Using Ceremony to Mark the End of a Relationship

Divorce or the end of a long-term relationship is a... Read More

Get Over A Divorce and Prepare for Divorce Recovery!

It can be difficult to get over a divorce and... Read More

Choosing Your Divorce Method

The biggest mistake that people make when getting divorced is... Read More

Divorce

The most recent statistics show that about 50% of all... Read More

Divorce Roadmap: The Route Around the Legal System

Let's look at how a divorce case works so you... Read More

Is Your Marriage Problem Severe Enough To Warrant Getting A Divorce?

Having a marriage problem can be agonizing especially if you're... Read More

Divorce Articles: How To Get The Most From A Divorce Article

There are many types of divorce articles available on the... Read More

Divorce, The Hardest Thing You Have To Do

Knowing What To Do In DivorceKnowing what to do when... Read More

Divorce--How the Legal System Works Against You

If there were no legal system, no lawyers and no... Read More

Deciding on Divorce: How to Know You are Making the Right Choice

It's a well known fact that in this day and... Read More

Divorce Decision: Things To Consider When Making A Decision About Divorce

When making a divorce decision, there are quite a few... Read More

Divorce--The Five Obstacles to Agreement

This article and my articles "Overcoming Obstacles to Agreement" and... Read More

Divorce--Getting Legal Help Without Paying Exorbitant Attorneys Fees

Ignorance is the most common trap in the business of... Read More

Healing Dysfunctional Families

In a recent article entitled "Some Evidence On How We... Read More

Hire Divorce Lawyer or Use Online Divorce Forms

When do you need to hire a family law attorney... Read More

How To Identify What The Question Should I Get a Divorce? Means To You

Deciding about whether you should get a divorce or not... Read More

5 Things To Do Before You Even Think About Getting A Divorce

There are many steps to take to protect yourself in... Read More

Does Your Sexless Marriage Have You Thinking About Divorce?

If you are in a sexless marriage and are unhappy... Read More