Divorce and Separation - A Child?s Perspective

It is always the children that suffer the most when a marriage breaks down and separation or divorce is imminent. Children of divorcing parents often witness arguments even rows and this has a strong effect on any child. Children do not understand why parents argue and cannot relate to rows during the build up to a divorce or seperation. They become confused and insecure and their life seems as if it is in turmoil. Here we explain some of the issues from a child's perspective.

Children do not understand why parents no longer love each other and cannot stay together. Prior to divorce or separation they have only known that happy caring family environment which they were brought into. To them their world has been turned upside down and they cannot see why. If parents loved each other in the past, then why can't they love one another in the future.

Children often believe that they could be the reason for a break up in a marriage which can result in long term damaging guilt complexes. A child's character often changes during divorce or separation when things are not normal at home. Children can be very sensitive to the emotional environment.

During divorce or separation many children become disruptive at school, argumentative at home and some even go into a recluse. This can be a very lonely time, particularly if they are an only child. Their friends are not going through what they are emotionally. Hence they feel that they are the odd one out all of a sudden and do not know how to cope with the situation. All they want is for their life to go back to a normal family life where parents don't argue and row as it may have been before the stress of divorce or seperation.

When a couple decide that divorce is the only option and separation is a necessity, children are again the ones that it effects the most. They are told that they will be with one parent one day and the other the next. How are they supposed to form any kind of routine ? This can often result in children not sleeping in their own beds as they prefer the comfort and security of being with a parent. Children often feel insecure and are most vulnerable even at school when they listen to their friends planning family outings and holidays.

Children of divorcing parents can feel as though they are going to miss out on family events and get togethers. During a divorce each parent makes separate commitments to a child and It is important that when arrangements have been made by the parent or parents that they keep to them as the child will feel let down and resent a parent for not being there for them after they had said they would. Reliability and punctuality are of utmost importance to a child. They will clock watch and expect to see you on time and have been looking forward to spending time with you wherever you decide to take them. In a child's eyes it's you they want to be with and it's your time spent with them that's most important to them even after the divorce or separation.

Divorce can bring our the worst in people. Never run down the other parent in front of your child. This creates resentment and bad feelings all round. Also, never think that you can buy a child if you are late or fail to follow through with your promise. Although you may think that you are doing good for buying your child a toy to impress them - think again - keep that special toy for a birthday or Christmas present. Your time to be with them is much more valuable than a toy. Even after the divorce or separation they will remember where you took them and what a fantastic time you both had rather than a toy. They will talk about your outing or time together for days because it meant so much to them to see you and have you all to themselves. Quality time rather than quantity of toys is far more important to a child.

These are just some of the issues children face when parents are going through the throws of a divorce or separation and every attempt should be made by divorcing parents to limit or reduce these adverse affects upon children.

Jenny Clair is the editor of Marriage-Divorce-Separation.com an article based web site exploring the human side of marriage breakdowns, divorce and separation situations.

http://www.marriage-divorce-separation.com

In The News:


NPR (blog)

Introducing A Divorce Rate For Birds, And Guess Which Bird Never, Ever ...
NPR (blog)
There is love. And then there's albatross love. In his new book, The Thing With Feathers, Noah Strycker says albatrosses have a knack for coupling. "These globe trotters, who mate for life and are incredibly faithful to their partners, just might have ...

and more »

TMZ.com

Walmart Heiress Paige Laurie Dubbert Divorce Settlement – I Was RIPPED OFF!!!
TMZ.com
The Walmart heiress who just filed for divorce did so because she believes her husband RIPPED HER OFF. Paige Laurie Dubbert filed a civil lawsuit against Patrick Bode Dubbert shortly after filing for divorce. In the lawsuit -- obtained by TMZ -- she ...


Daily Mail

It's Back On! Ramona Singer Calls Off Divorce From Love Rat Hubby Mario
Radar Online
The Real Housewives of New York City star, who accused Mario of choking her in a January domestic dispute, has agreed to go to marriage counseling in an attempt to save the relationship, a source reveals. “Mario and Ramona have been having very long ...
Ramona Singer 'calls off divorce and enters into therapy with cheating husband ...Daily Mail
Ramona Singer Calls Off DivorceShowbiz Spy
Ramona Singer divorce from Mario called off, enters marriage counseling ...ChristianToday

all 16 news articles »

TMZ.com

Walmart Heiress Divorce -- CHUMP CHANGE -- I'm So Rich, I'll Pay His Support
TMZ.com
Not surprisingly ... they signed a prenup, presumably protecting her fortune, but at the same time it gives her hubby the right to get spousal support if they divorce. Well, almost 6 years of marriage, they're divorcing. In the legal docs -- obtained ...
Wal-Mart heiress Paige Laurie Dubbert's new arena: divorce courtKansas City Star
Paige Laurie Dubbert, Wal-Mart Heiress, DivorcingWebProNews
Paige Laurie, of Mizzou arena infamy, seeking divorceSTLtoday.com
Malibu Times -360Nobs.com -Page Six
all 11 news articles »

FINNBAY

9 Crucial Questions to Ask Yourself Before Calling the Divorce Attorney
Huffington Post
None of us gets married thinking that five, ten, even twenty years down the line we'd be so frustrated or miserable that we'd be considering divorce. Most of us step into marriage with hope and enthusiasm, determined to have ours be a marriage that lasts.
Making it harder to get a divorcePatheos (blog)
Nearly 1 out of 5 marriages in Turkey ends in divorceToday's Zaman
More Good Marriages Die in Finland As the Years Go Passing ByFINNBAY

all 5 news articles »

'Wed-locked': Tampa judge weighs request for gay divorce
MyFox Tampa Bay
Mariama Shaw wants out of her marriage, but the state of Florida holds the key to her divorce. In 2004, Massachusetts became the first state to legalize gay marriage, setting off a rush to the altar from couples across the country. Mariama and her ...
Couple seeking same-sex divorce make their case in courtWTSP 10 News

all 2 news articles »

Extra

Cheatin' Dean McDermott Is Threatening to Divorce Tori Spelling!
Extra
The insider continued, “Yes, Dean cheated on her, but Tori definitely played a role in where their marriage was when that happened. For months, Tori has railed on Dean and he has taken it. However, Dean has had it. Now he is threatening her with divorce.”
Dean McDermott threatens divorce: Tori Spelling gone too far shaming husband?Examiner.com
Dean McDermott Threatening Tori Spelling with DivorceFirst Coast News
Tori Spelling Blindsided As Cheater Dean Threatens Divorce: 'He's Tired Of ...Radar Online
Guardian Liberty Voice -International Business Times -Daily Mail
all 180 news articles »

Gary killer's warning: Divorce 'not going to be pretty'
Chicago Sun-Times
Days after Nina Castro filed for divorce from her husband last fall, she returned to their home in Gary's Ambridge-Mann area where Remanard Castro forced her to have sex with him while threatening her with a handgun and later a crowbar, according to ...

and more »

TMZ.com

Eliza Coupe Divorce -- No Happy Ending ... She's Paying Up Big-Time!
TMZ.com
According to divorce docs obtained by TMZ ... Whittinghill and Coupe have come to agreement on how to divvy things up ... and Whittinghill made out quite well. The docs say Coupe has to fork over $7,000 a month in spousal support as well as a lump sum ...

and more »

12 Things Kids Think About Divorce But Are Too Afraid To Say
Huffington Post
Divorce can really suck. Two people, at one time so in love they committed to spend the rest of their lives together, find themselves communicating through lawyers and dividing assets and possessions so they can start their lives over again -- on their ...

Google News

Spare Your Kids To 7 Most Distressful Divorce Parenting Situations

What 7 most distressful situations to kids that divorced parents... Read More

Divorce--Negotiating Agreement: Ten Steps

The best predictor of a good divorce outcome is the... Read More

Advantages to Doing Your Own Divorce

There are many advantages to doing your own divorce. Three... Read More

Effects of Divorce on Children

When a couple decides their marriage is over, a tremendous... Read More

The Job of a Divorce Attorney

Marriage is a very solemn and serious chapter on any... Read More

10 Ways to Keep Divorce Lawyers From Ruining Your Life

Everyone has heard the story (from friends, co-workers, and family... Read More

Alienation of Affection - Interference with marriage can cost big bucks in North Carolina

Non-lawyers are often surprised to learn that a spouse can... Read More

How Can Collaborative Law Be Beneficial In Your Texas Divorce?

Collaborative law is based on the realization that the commitment... Read More

Marriage - Divorce - Separation - How to Handle the Split Loyalties with Friends After Separation

We have all most probably encountered it at some stage... Read More

Divorce: Secrets To Coping With A Divorce Announcement

During a wedding ceremony, when people are joined together in... Read More

How Thinking About An Uncontested Divorce Figures Into Your Decision About Divorce

An uncontested divorce is the most common type of divorce.... Read More

A Time of Grief and Healing After Separation and Divorce

I thought I would never feel the light of life... Read More

Things To Consider When Making A Decision About Divorce

When making a divorce decision, there are quite a few... Read More

Avoid Lawyers! Do-It-Yourself Divorce Saved Me Tons of Money!

Let me preface this by saying right up front -... Read More

Divorce Decision: Things To Consider When Making A Decision About Divorce

When making a divorce decision, there are quite a few... Read More

Stop Divorce: Should You Try To Stop Your Divorce If Youre Just Thinking About Getting A Divorce?

Thinking about getting a divorce doesn't necessarily mean that you... Read More

Divorce--How the Legal System Works Against You

If there were no legal system, no lawyers and no... Read More

Two Hearts Are Now One

It is fitting that I should write this story on... Read More

How To Identify What The Question Should I Get a Divorce? Means To You

Deciding about whether you should get a divorce or not... Read More

Houston Divorce Lawyer - West Houston Attorney Answers Common Questions About Mediation

If you are reading this, then you are probably either... Read More

Love and Marriage Fairy Tale

When we were children we believed in fairy tales and... Read More

Anatomy of a Divorce: How it Really Works

The legal divorce vs. your real divorce The legal... Read More

An In-Depth Look at Army Divorce Rates

Raleigh, NC-The largest divorce firm in the state, Rosen Law... Read More

Divorce--Getting Legal Help Without Paying Exorbitant Attorneys Fees

Ignorance is the most common trap in the business of... Read More

The Impact of Divorce on Families

As a licensed mental health professional, I work with many... Read More