It Was Not Me

It was not me as I am now.
It was not me as I was then.
It was then when God was truly in me.
When God was in me, I was a young man.
A young man with hope, will and desire.
Desire to give my love and the gift of God to the ones in need.
You see, that was me.

Thus, it was not me who hurt you so,
But it was me as I was then.
It was then when God was not in me.
That is when I hurt you though.

Now I can really see it was not me, who scarred you so.
Your innocence, your trust in me, the weak moment in your life,
Was abused by me.
But that was not really me.

You have to see it was not me as I was before,
Or as I am now,
Or as I will ever be.
No! It was not me!
It was he who was not me.
It was he who will never be me.
It was he and me who hurt you so.
No! It was not really me, who hurt you.

I hear you say that it was not you who hurt me so.
You said it was not you
Who stole my innocence,
Who stole my love for life,
Who stole my respect for myself.
You said it was not you who hurt me so.

I was only a boy, ten-year-old boy when my parents abused me so.
I was weak, sad and confused.
I was hurt by someone I loved and trusted so.

I came to you to help me heal.
I came to you because God told me to.
I came to you because you said God was in you.
I came to you because I trusted you more than I trusted mysel
I came to you because perfection of love was in you.
Yes, I came to you.

Your loving tone of voice made me trust you even more.
You listened to me like no one had before.
Your touch was gentle, soft and warm.
Your touch made me feel that I was in a safe place.
Your compassion made me feel the healing in me.
Your soft gaze told me you were the God-sent man.
The man God sent to help me and others like me.

When you put me on your lap, you gave me a hug.
A hug of love, that was doubt-free.
Transcendence in me took all the pain away.
I felt safe because of you.
I felt loved once again because of you.
I felt I was a good little boy because of you.
A good boy who deserved all the goodness in the world;
A good boy with a bright future ahead of him.

But when you put your hands in my pants,
I got confused, but did not refuse to do the same to you.
For it was you who told me then:
"My sweet child you are safe here.
You are safe when you are with me.
You are loved by God in me.
It is God who sent you here,
It is God who wants you to trust me.
So my little boy do trust God in me;
And do what feels good to you."

It was you who said that the God in you
Was loving, and that He knew what's good for me.
And that God in you wants me to please you.
And by pleasing you I'll be pleasing God;
And by pleasing God my pain will go away.

But you did not say that by you touching me that way,
And by me doing the same to you will harm me even more.
You did not say that all this would destroy me so.
You did not say that your love was a lie.
You did not say that you were an evil man.
You did not say that what was in you was not really God,
But the opposite of Him.

Now that I am a grown man,
I know that trusting you was a mistake,
And an error I made.
A mistake and error with irreversible consequences.
The consequences that brought pain in me even more.
The pain, turmoil and darkness in me is now too much for me to endure.

Now you can see why I must go;
Why I must go to a pain-free place.
For the pain in me is unbearable.
Thus, I must go to a secret place,
A place of no return.

Oh my son, please do not go,
There is still hope for you.
Oh my son, it was not me who hurt you so.
Oh my son it was not me as I am now;
It was not me who injured you so.
It was he who was not me when the true God was in me.
Oh my son, please do not go.
There is still hope for you.
It was not me who hurt you so.
Oh my son, please do not go.

ZORA TEOFILOVIC

In The News:


Sidewalks a platform for poetry
Sioux Falls Argus Leader
Bev Oliver shows off the rubber mold Tuesday used to imprint a poem in the concrete sidewalk at Seventh Street and Summit Avenue as part of a project she led. TOP: Poem imprinted in the concrete as seen on Tuesday. (Photo: Photos by Elisha Page / Argus ...


The Guardian

Poetry Brothel puts the bawd in bard
The Guardian
She calls herself a poetry whore, and I have paid for her company. For the next 10 minutes or so, she will read me her verses, converse with me, entertain me. Between sheer curtains I can see several other transactions unfolding around us, hear stanzas ...


Downtown Express

Poetry in the souls of those who least expect it
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BY PUMA PERL | I couldn't be happier to report that the spirit of discovery is alive and well as demonstrated by the Rocky Presents shows, and that a new generation is learning that poetry lives on in the streets, and in the hearts and souls of those ...

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NPR (blog)

Book News: Remembering Poet Galway Kinnell, Whose Song Said Everything
NPR (blog)
When Galway Kinnell accepted the post of Vermont's State Poet in 1989, the honor didn't come without a bit of polite disagreement. No writer had occupied the post since Robert Frost more than 25 years earlier, and with the revival came also a desire ...
Former state poet Galway Kinnell diesBurlingtonFreePress.com
Galway Kinnell, Plain-Spoken Poet, Is Dead at 87New York Times
Pulitzer Prize-Winning Poet Galway Kinnell Dies At 87Huffington Post
ABC News -Los Angeles Times
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Poetry's ambassador
Yadkin Ripple
After engaging with contemporary poetry, Griffin said he decided he wanted to try writing some poetry of his own. He said the process was harder than he first imagined, but still something he thoroughly enjoys. He keeps a notebook with him all the time ...


Professor shares new poetry book
Observer Online
Tuesday evening, Saint Mary's department of business administration and economics hosted a poetry reading honoring the poetry of Dr. Jerome McElroy, professor of economics. McElroy read from his new chapbook, titled “Hidden Graces.” Professor ...


Unique poetry workshop offered Saturday
Quad-Cities Online
Mr. Dougherty recently performed at the Best American Poetry 2014 release party at The New School in New York City. His work was included in the most recent edition of the annual Best American Poetry anthology. In Saturday's workshop, students will ...

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HotNewHipHop

Handwritten Poetry From A 17-Year Old Tupac Surfaces
HotNewHipHop
Here's a good way to celebrate Throwback Thursday. Today Noisey has unearthed some previously unreleased handwritten poetry from the legendary Tupac, written before his rise to fame, when he was just 17-years old. The rapper's first manager (who is ...

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Statesman Journal

Art inspired by William Stafford's poetry on exhibit
Statesman Journal
Artists In Action, in cooperation with the Mid-Valley Poetry Society, will sponsor a multimedia exhibit of art inspired by William Stafford's poetry Nov. 5-22 at the Salem Arts Building, room 180, 155 Liberty St. NE. There will be a reception and ...
William Stafford Favorite Poem Project #2WilliametteLive.com

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Opelousas Daily World

Poet shares the joy of the spoken word with students
Opelousas Daily World
She has also written collections of poetry, including one she hopes to complete in December. Johnson visited the high school to teach Brenda Rodgers' Creative Writing Club students about spoken word with an emphasis on reading poetry from the page and ...
Young Slam Poet Takes Aim At Substandard TeachingKERA News

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