It Was Not Me

It was not me as I am now.
It was not me as I was then.
It was then when God was truly in me.
When God was in me, I was a young man.
A young man with hope, will and desire.
Desire to give my love and the gift of God to the ones in need.
You see, that was me.

Thus, it was not me who hurt you so,
But it was me as I was then.
It was then when God was not in me.
That is when I hurt you though.

Now I can really see it was not me, who scarred you so.
Your innocence, your trust in me, the weak moment in your life,
Was abused by me.
But that was not really me.

You have to see it was not me as I was before,
Or as I am now,
Or as I will ever be.
No! It was not me!
It was he who was not me.
It was he who will never be me.
It was he and me who hurt you so.
No! It was not really me, who hurt you.

I hear you say that it was not you who hurt me so.
You said it was not you
Who stole my innocence,
Who stole my love for life,
Who stole my respect for myself.
You said it was not you who hurt me so.

I was only a boy, ten-year-old boy when my parents abused me so.
I was weak, sad and confused.
I was hurt by someone I loved and trusted so.

I came to you to help me heal.
I came to you because God told me to.
I came to you because you said God was in you.
I came to you because I trusted you more than I trusted mysel
I came to you because perfection of love was in you.
Yes, I came to you.

Your loving tone of voice made me trust you even more.
You listened to me like no one had before.
Your touch was gentle, soft and warm.
Your touch made me feel that I was in a safe place.
Your compassion made me feel the healing in me.
Your soft gaze told me you were the God-sent man.
The man God sent to help me and others like me.

When you put me on your lap, you gave me a hug.
A hug of love, that was doubt-free.
Transcendence in me took all the pain away.
I felt safe because of you.
I felt loved once again because of you.
I felt I was a good little boy because of you.
A good boy who deserved all the goodness in the world;
A good boy with a bright future ahead of him.

But when you put your hands in my pants,
I got confused, but did not refuse to do the same to you.
For it was you who told me then:
"My sweet child you are safe here.
You are safe when you are with me.
You are loved by God in me.
It is God who sent you here,
It is God who wants you to trust me.
So my little boy do trust God in me;
And do what feels good to you."

It was you who said that the God in you
Was loving, and that He knew what's good for me.
And that God in you wants me to please you.
And by pleasing you I'll be pleasing God;
And by pleasing God my pain will go away.

But you did not say that by you touching me that way,
And by me doing the same to you will harm me even more.
You did not say that all this would destroy me so.
You did not say that your love was a lie.
You did not say that you were an evil man.
You did not say that what was in you was not really God,
But the opposite of Him.

Now that I am a grown man,
I know that trusting you was a mistake,
And an error I made.
A mistake and error with irreversible consequences.
The consequences that brought pain in me even more.
The pain, turmoil and darkness in me is now too much for me to endure.

Now you can see why I must go;
Why I must go to a pain-free place.
For the pain in me is unbearable.
Thus, I must go to a secret place,
A place of no return.

Oh my son, please do not go,
There is still hope for you.
Oh my son, it was not me who hurt you so.
Oh my son it was not me as I am now;
It was not me who injured you so.
It was he who was not me when the true God was in me.
Oh my son, please do not go.
There is still hope for you.
It was not me who hurt you so.
Oh my son, please do not go.

ZORA TEOFILOVIC

In The News:


Business Insider

This Website Will Turn Your Tweets Into Poetry
Business Insider
Once you sign in, Poetweet gives you the option of transforming your 140-character missives into three types of poems: a sonnet (popularized by Shakespeare), rondel (French lyric poetry), or indriso (a format created by Spanish poet Isidro Iturat ...
Poetweet: A website that turns your tweets into poetryLos Angeles Times
This Website Lets You Mold Your Tweets Into Strange, Beautiful PoetryMic
Poetweet Turns Your Twitter Account Into the Most Magnificent Poetry You'll ...Bustle
Uproxx -TIME -Paste Magazine
all 23 news articles »

New York Times

Rod McKuen, Prolific Poet and Lyricist, Dies at 81
New York Times
Rod McKuen, a ubiquitous poet, lyricist and songwriter whose work met with immense commercial success if little critical esteem, died on Thursday in Beverly Hills, Calif. He was 81. Mr. McKuen, who died at a rehabilitation center, had been ill with ...
Rod McKuen, mega-selling poet and performer, dies at 81Tribune-Review

all 269 news articles »

The State

Allen University formally opens its Langston Hughes Poetry House
The State
Late last summer, Alonzo Stevens wandered into Allen University's Langston Hughes Poetry Center intent on finding out what the private historically black college was creating inside the Pine Street bungalow. He had in hand his own published book of ...

and more »

The Advocate

Westhill students demonstrate poetry prowess
The Advocate
Nastasja Haughton recites I Am Trying to Break Your Heart by Kevin Young during the Poetry Out Loud competition at Westhill High School on Thursday, January 29, 2015. This is the first year Westhill has entered the contest and Haughton, who won, and ...


The Guardian

Poetry Puh-lease – review: the artform that's easy to mock
The Guardian
On the grounds of pretentious self-importance, is there any other artform easier to mock than poetry? Kevin Eldon (Jam, Knowing Me Knowing You) delves deep in the epic, three-hour long documentary Poetry Puh-lease (Radio 4 Extra) that manages to both ...


The Conversation UK

Poetry is well and truly in the margins – will it ever get out?
The Conversation UK
I was on a train recently reading a book of poems by Carol Rumens when the elderly man sitting across the table said, “Do people still read poetry?” He frowned as though rats had re-infested his basement…


New York Times

Fallen Journalist Finds Solace and Success in Poetry
New York Times
She is Patricia Smith, Staten Island's literary sensation, a poet, an English professor and a star on the national stage. Last month, she won the Rebekah Johnson Bobbitt National Prize for Poetry, awarded by the Library of Congress to luminaries such ...


New Statesman

Hide and Seek: New poetry by Rowan Williams, Liz Berry and Vona Groarke
New Statesman
“There is nothing hidden that will not be revealed” – so said Jesus, according to the non-canonical Gospel of Thomas. The ways in which our words hide and reveal us are a fundamental concern of poetry, which is the most private of the arts and yet ...

and more »

The Guardian

The Costa book of the year contender bringing poetry to class
The Guardian
So he trained as a secondary English teacher and, rejected by one school on grounds that poetry could distract him from the day job, applied to Haberdashers' Monmouth school for girls, in the Wye Valley, where he has been for 10 years, the only man in ...


Iraqi folk poets face criticism
Al-Monitor
Many Iraqis recite folk poetry, which is written in colloquial Arabic, stating support for the Popular Mobilization Units and for the fight against the Islamic State. These poems can be found on satellite TV channels, social networking sites and Iraqi ...

and more »
Google News

Poetry and Popular Culture

Is poetry too complicated for the average reader? Is it... Read More

Preserving Dignity

No one should have to beg or crawl before humanity.... Read More

RISK

Do not be afraid to shine. This world needs what... Read More

Asha of Darfur [A poem with a commentary by the author]

Asha of DarfurCry, cry-oh little Darfur woman For your sister... Read More

A World That Doesnt Care

War bombs may explode demolishing man and land. Hurricanes may... Read More

Catherine Daly reviews Antidotes for an Alibi

Amy King Antidotes for an Alibi BlazeVox Books ISBN 0-9759227-5-0... Read More

The Dead God of Copan (in English and Spanish)

English VersionAnd the Death God said: "Let it rise to... Read More

Black Blood, in Jeremiahs Vines - A Poem and an Article

Black Blood, in Jeremiah's Vines [A Dream Poem]And I heard... Read More

Three Poems (While in Transition/English and Spanish)

Here are three more poems by the author, Dennis Siluk,... Read More

Let Your Feelings Be Your Guide

The light of all eternity shines with me now /... Read More

The Spirits de Copan

Part oneI see them in the skies I hear them... Read More

Shadows of the Andes; Ollantayambo; and Cesar Vallejo [Poems in English and Spanish]

1) Shadows of the Andes [or: Song to the Andes]I... Read More

It Was Not Me

It was not me as I am now. It was... Read More

How to Write Bad Poetry

"All bad poetry springs from genuine feeling."--Oscar WildePeople write poetry... Read More

Publishing Your Poetry

If you are serious about seeing your work published by... Read More

Eds Poem

Ed Gallagher Dec. 11, 1907 - Sept. 5, 2004This poem... Read More

Testimony to the Night [In English and Spanish]

In the quiet of the arctic night- In its deep... Read More

Two Poems on the Traditions of Peru [in English and Spanish]

Atahualpa's Game [Peruvian]Sometimes, it's not wise To share your wisdom... Read More

Two Poems: Black Poncho, and Spirits of de Copan [in English and Spanish]

English Version12) Black Poncho(of Saint Cosme Hill, by Lima, Peru)Lost... Read More

Africa - Wheres The Profit?

A poetic comment that just welled up inside my head... Read More

Poetry in a Nutshell

Poetry is more than just rhyming and prose that is... Read More

Two Poems and a Short Story

1)dying in the bar [sluggishly]yet, I would crawl too upto... Read More

Tale of the Brick Maker, of San Jeronimo, Peru [In English and Spanish]

Tale of the Brick Maker, Of San Jernimo, Peru... Read More

Biography of Charlotte Bronte

Charlotte Bronte (1816 ?1855) Novelist and Poet.Charlotte was the daughter... Read More

Ole Bulky Jeeps & Paper, Ink and Rain [two Peoms]

Ole Bulky JeepsThrough late summer's heat These bulky shaped jeeps... Read More