Great Relationships: 4 More Dumb MIstakes and 4 Smarter Moves to Make

1) Treat the family you have come from as more important than the family you are creating. Put your parents' opinion and happiness above those of your spouse. Spend more time with them than you do your own family. Invite them into marital disputes. Share private knowledge with them.

Smarter move: Once you get married, the family that you form _ whether just the two of you or if you add kids _ becomes the most important family. Set up boundaries between your family and the one from which you came. A boundary is just a fancy way of saying "don't go there!"

2) Express love to your partner just as you would like to receive it.

Sounds like the right thing to do, does it not? The problem is twofold:

a) we each have our own love language, the way in which we feel most loved. It's usually either to see it (actions), hear it (words), or feel it (touch)

b) We tend to give love in our own love language. So if your love language is hearing, and your partner's is seeing, you could say "I love you" all day long, and he or she would be thinking, "that's nice, but why won't you show me?"

Smarter move: Express love in your partner's own specific love language. How do you find out what it is? Here comes the hard part _ ASK!

3) Treat your partner like an opponent instead of a helpmate.

So many people treat their friends better than they treat their spouse. How long would you be friends with someone who constantly competed with you, debated and critiqued everything you said, and saw you as the enemy and someone to get around in order to get your own way?

Insist on seeing your relationship, the world, and everything only through your own eyes. No one person is always right. Yet often in marriage we act as if our view is the only one that counts. We act as if there is only one set of eyes and brains in the relationship.

Smarter move: In marriage you do not always have to agree with how your partner sees the world, or even see it the way he or she does. At the same time, one way to honor and respect your mate is to always keep in mind how he or she sees things. You want to be able to "get behind their eyes."

4) Insist on seeing your relationship, the world, and everything only through your own eyes.

No one person is always right. Yet often in marriage we act as if our view is the only one that counts. We act as if there is only one set of eyes and brains in the relationship.

Smarter move: In marriage you do not always have to agree with how your partner sees the world, or even see it the way he or she does. At the same time, one way to honor and respect your mate is to always keep in mind how he or she sees things. You want to be able to "get behind their eyes."

Visit SecretsofGreatRelationships.com for more tips and tools for a great relationship, as well as a free 10 day e-course on enriching your relationship today, from relationship coach Jeff Herring.

In The News:


Times of India

Children born of live-in relationships are legitimate, Supreme Court says
Times of India
NEW DELHI: Giving an important clarification on live-in relationships, the Supreme Court has said that if a man and woman "lived like husband and wife" for a long period and had children, the judiciary would presume that the two were married. A bench ...
Children Born of Live-in Relationships are Legitimate: Supreme CourtThe Indian Republic
Kids born out of live-in relationships are legitimate!ABP News
'Kids born out of live-in relationship not illegitimate'Hindustan Times
Deccan Chronicle
all 14 news articles »

New York Daily News

Florida teacher faces 20 more charges over sexual relationship with another ...
New York Daily News
Their inappropriate relationship started in September when the boy would hang around her classroom after hours and they would text each other, Polk County Sheriff's Office said. Jennifer Christine Fichter, 29, is accused of having two sexual ...
Former Polk teacher accused of sex with third studentBradenton Herald

all 43 news articles »

SPIN

Veruca Salt Seethe Again in 'The Museum of Broken Relationships' Video
SPIN
Recently, Veruca Salt reunited for a Record Store Day release and a string of tour dates, and now they've shared a video for new RSD song "The Museum of Broken Relationships" (via Stereogum). Directed by Gary Kordan, the black-and-white visuals simply ...
Veruca Salt - "The Museum of Broken Relationships" (video) + Tour DatesPopMatters
Veruca Salt Share "The Museum of Broken Relationships" Video, Announce TourPitchfork Media
Listen: Veruca Salt's new song "The Museum of Broken Relationships"Consequence of Sound

all 6 news articles »

How Gchat Is Destroying Your Relationships, Productivity And Possibly Your Soul
Huffington Post
Why ask Google when you can ask a friend? Gchat's accessibility to smart people with whom we share personal relationships makes finding answers easy -- or so we think. But often, typing a "quick q?" to a friend becomes more disruptive and distracting ...

and more »

Sunday Book Review|Is It OK to Mine Real Relationships for Literary Material?
New York Times
When Robert Lowell used his ex-wife's letters for his poetry, Elizabeth Bishop told him, “Art just isn't worth that much.” This week, Francine Prose and Leslie Jamison discuss what they make of mining actual relationships for literary material. By ...

and more »

Medical Daily

Secret Of Healthy Relationships Found In Psychological Trick; 'The Ben ...
Medical Daily
Trouble in paradise is unavoidable in relationships, bringing couples down from cloud nine and raining on their love parade. Whether a partner feels like they're investing more time or being taken for granted by their significant other, both partners ...


Broken relationship lead to confused market
MarketWatch
Michael A. Gayed, CFA, winner of the 2014 Dow Award, is chief investment strategist and co-portfolio manager at Pension Partners, LLC., an investment advisor which manages mutual funds and separate accounts according to its ATAC (Accelerated Time ...


Is Faking An Orgasm Ever A Good Idea?
Boston.com
I know you may think your acting is pretty good, but a new study published in the Archives of Sexual Behavior reveals that both men and women in committed relationships are surprisingly accurate when it comes to detecting their partner's level of ...

and more »

Stop Obsessing Over Finding The Perfect Partner
TIME
Evolution tells it straight: Some people make more desirable partners than others. Current theories on mate value go a little like this: People who have it all, including good looks and status, can land a partner who also has it all. The people who don ...


At NU's helm, JB Milliken built the university by building relationships with ...
Omaha World-Herald
Much of NU's success during difficult financial times can be traced to prioritizing strong working relationships and maintaining respect, Milliken and his colleagues say. It's an approach that may provide a blueprint for 2015, when the next crop of ...

and more »
Google News

Engaged, In Love, and In Limbo

Well, here I am very much in love and starting... Read More

Is Love Ever In Vain?

All too often you fall in love with someone out... Read More

Soul Mate - a Pain in the Neck

"and they lived happily ever after...That is how our favorite... Read More

Are You My Soul Mate?

I'm always dumbfounded when someone walks up to me and... Read More

Do You Love Reading The Daily Horoscopes Part II

How many time have you felt an instant attraction to... Read More

Friends and Friendship - Who are Friends, What is Friendship

A friend loves at all times, and a brother is... Read More

If You Love Me

If you love me, you will keep my commandments?In the... Read More

Lists, Lists, and More Lists

Every person that thinks something is amiss in their relationship... Read More

Slaying The Green Eyed Monster

He hasn't called in hours. You call and get the... Read More

True Love - Part 2

Okay, so why would one person feel strongly about the... Read More

3 Stone Diamond Rings ? Three Times As Nice!

It is said that the stones in 3 stone diamond... Read More

Maybe Not Bones, But Hearts...And Worse: The Destructive Power of Simple Speech

Out of the blue, slap bang in the middle of... Read More

How To Slay The Toxic Dragon In Your Life

How To "Slay The Dragon" In Your Life In Five... Read More

Keep the Fires Burning

The toys are put away, homework's done and the kids... Read More

Relationships: Last a Lifetime

Stepping into a new position brought along a few surprises.... Read More

Penpal and Christian Penpal

Having a penpal can be fun; bringing diversity into your... Read More

Zodiac Love Match ? Can the Stars be Right?

As a somewhat older gentleman (but still fairly good looking... Read More

Married and ECheating ? A Dreadful Alliance!

In Homer's Odyssey (a Greek Myth) sailors were lured to... Read More

Amaze Your Lover - 16 Romantic Ideas To Keep Them Happy

Some people have a natural ability to romance the oppposite... Read More

The 4 Stages of a Relationship

1. The Perfect Phase is the first three months. If... Read More

Great Relationship Advice: How to Get ?All A?s? in Couples Communication

Mark Twain once said that he believed it was "God's... Read More

Stop Making Relationship Mistakes! Avoid Another Unhappy Relationship!

It is possible for women to steer clear of an... Read More

Great Relationships: 4 More Dumb MIstakes and 4 Smarter Moves to Make

1) Treat the family you have come from as more... Read More

Relationship Advice: Why Brad and Jen Broke Up and What We Can Learn from Them

It's been a few months since the riveting headlines: The... Read More

Relationship Advice: Grieving Before Going On

Q. I got married for the first time when I... Read More