How Not To Lose Weight

Who really wants to lose weight? None of us, right? How much fun is it to be on a diet, deprived of all you really want and need when there is a McDonald's, Krispy Kreme or Baskin and Robbins right around the corner calling out your name? Learn to love what you've got, get more (and bigger portions) out of life and let all the skinny people fend for themselves! Following is our guide to not losing weight:

1. Drive Everywhere You Go.

God gave us cars for a reason - so that we would never have to walk another step unless we wanted to! Forget about buying or using a bike, motorcycle or your own two feet. Drive everywhere you need to go - even if it's just around the block.

2. Never Take The Stairs.

All those exercise books are always advising us to 'take the stairs instead of the elevator'. Can they spell c-o-n-v-e-n-i-e-n-c-e? Elevators get us to where we need to be quickly and efficiently - and that's good enough for us. Use stairs only in case of an emergency.

3. Eat Whatever You Want.

There is so much wonderful variety in today's foods - we have fast food, gourmet food, pastries, fried foods, seafood, beef, fish and poultry - how can you restrict your eating to just one or two things? Eat whatever you want - enjoy yourself and worry about the consequences tomorrow.

4. Exercise, Shmexercise!

Exercise - who needs it? You probably get enough exercise in your daily life as it is - chasing after the kids, doing housework, keeping up with your appointments, going to church, and all that driving around has to burn off some calories, right? So, don't worry about it - the last thing you need to do at the end of a hard day of work is drag yourself to the gym. Work hard, rest harder.

5. Watch As Much Television As You Can.

What does watching television have to do with not losing weight? Watching television goes hand in hand with one of our favorite activities - snacking! We get to snack on such wonderful things as tv dinners, popcorn, potato chips, cookies, and my personal favorite - chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream! Hmm, hmm, makes me hungry just thinking about it. So, pull up to Extreme Makeover, pull out that bag of popcorn and snack away!

6. Never Count Calories, Fat Grams or Carbs.

Who has time to read all those labels anyway? You know if something is good, right? You don't need a label to tell you that. And fat grams and carbs? Forget about it - the government can't even decide what's healthy anymore and what's not. Good carbs, bad carbs, who can keep up? Eat what tastes good and let God sort out the rest.

And, finally:

7. Never Weigh Yourself!

This is the final and most important step - never get on that scale! Don't even buy a scale (and if you already have one - throw it out)! Because, if you do, you will find that doing all the above things will not only cause you not lose weight, but you will in fact gain weight. But, by not buying a scale, you won't be aware of that fact until your clothes no longer fit, your blood pressure goes up or until your cholesterol shoots sky high! But, until that time, leave the scale and the calorie counting behind you in your quest to not lose weight!

(In case you haven't figured it out - this article is in no way meant to be serious. It is simply our ironic way of pointing out the countless excuses we use to remain overweight, our refusal to diet and our lack of motivation in incorporating exercise into our daily lives. Stay turned for my next (and more serious) article in this series - Simple Ways to Lose Weight. Until then - Be Blessed!)

Sonya C. Triggs is a contributing writer to Urban Christianz Ministries. Visit this website to get practical advice about every day spirituality, dating, relationships and becoming closer to God.

In The News:


NPR (blog)

​Low-carb versus low-fat: Best diet for weight loss, heart health
CBS News
For people who want to lose weight and boost their heart health, cutting down on carbohydrates may work better than trimming dietary fat, a new study suggests. In a small clinical trial of obese adults, researchers found that those assigned to follow a ...
Cutting Back On Carbs, Not Fat, May Lead To More Weight LossNPR (blog)
Low-Carb Reigns Over Low-Fat Diet For Weight Loss, Heart HealthForbes
Low-carb diets may beat low-fat options for weight loss, heart healthFox News
U.S. News & World Report -MedPage Today
all 85 news articles »

CNN

What they never tell you about losing a lot of weight
CNN
(CNN) -- At 27 years old, I weighed 486 pounds and decided to have gastric bypass surgery. I know what you might be thinking: "Oh, you took the easy way out." Let me tell you, having weight loss surgery is far from easy. It involves a total commitment ...
Weight loss: What they don't tell youfox13now.com
Weight loss surgery could boost brain powerBoston Globe
What Happens Once You Lose the Weight? Woman Details Emotional Side EffectsFOX40

all 43 news articles »

Express.co.uk

Weight-loss program rewires brain to crave healthy food, scans show
Today.com
Tufts researchers wanted to determine whether anecdotal reports that participants in a weight-loss program developed by Roberts no longer craved junk food. Were there were actual neurobiological changes in brain? To determine this, The Tufts scientists ...
Researchers see benefit from behavioral weight loss program designed to curb ...News-Medical.net
You can train your brain to prefer healthy food scientists discover [GETTY]Express.co.uk
Brain scans suggest people can learn to like healthy foodsMedical News Today
Daily Mail
all 77 news articles »

For Weight Loss, Low-Carb Diet Beats Low-Fat
TIME
A new study published today in Annals of Internal Medicine found that when people followed either a low-fat or low-carb diet for a year, those who cut carbs lost significantly more weight and fat, while reducing their heart disease risk factors more ...


Study turns tables on value of breakfast, weight loss
WWL
Grandmothers, marketers and researchers alike have long touted breakfast as a must-have meal, praising its ability to rev up metabolism, stave off hunger, help calorie watchers keep their weight in check and improve concentration and cognitive function.
Is Breakfast the Most Important Meal for Weight Loss?Health Hub from Cleveland Clinic

all 3 news articles »

Weight-loss education seminar to take place in Fargo
Jamestown Sun
A free body composition screening will also be available. Attendees will learn about clinical research that shows weight-loss surgery to be superior to traditional medical treatment for people with Type 2 diabetes, producing remission even before ...


Rod Durham fought for spot on "Extreme Weight Loss"
Tallahassee Democrat (blog)
When Tallahassee's Rod Durham headed to his second audition for ABC's "Extreme Weight Loss," he didn't know he was on the brink of transforming his life forever. The 49-year-old Leon High School teacher had completed the first round of interviews the ...
Scoop: EXTREME WEIGHT LOSS on ABC - Today, September 2, 2014Broadway World

all 2 news articles »

Science Recorder

Diet wars: Low carb-diet defeats low-fat diet in weight loss, study finds
Science Recorder
In one study, researchers found that a low-carbohydrate diet is more effective for weight loss and reducing cardiovascular risk factors than a low-fat diet. According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, over one-third of American adults ...
Low-carb trumps low-fat for weight loss and cardiovascular riskNews-Medical.net
Low carb diet better for weight loss and reducing heart risks, StudyCanada News

all 8 news articles »

How A Breakup Led To A 136-Pound Weight Loss For Lisa Jarrett
Huffington Post
How I Gained It: I grew up in a single-income, blue collar family outside of Chicago. My parents, while at normal weights in their youth, were both obese, and I picked up on many of their bad behaviors. Growing up, dinners consisted of lots of greasy ...

and more »

Plant City hospital sponsoring weight loss surgery programs
TBO.com
PLANT CITY South Florida Baptist Hospital is sponsoring two programs this month on weight loss surgery. The programs will cover such procedures as the adjustable gastric band and sleeve gastrectomy. Prospective patients can learn if surgical weight ...

Google News

The Diet Dilemma. Why Diets Dont Work

Let's face when it comes to overweight and obesity there... Read More

Psychological Factors in Weight Management

To continue the educational series on your health and fitness... Read More

Gaining Weight After Gastric Bypass? Bad Snacks May be the Cause

As I become acquainted with many of our LivingAfterWLS.com community... Read More

Milk: The Weight Loss Drug

Lose Weight - Grab A GlassIn childhood, we heard it:... Read More

Weight Loss? 2 Skills You Need

If you have been dieting, there is a good chance... Read More

Heel Pain and Obesity: The Chicken or the Egg?

A new survey has found that heel pain caused by... Read More

Americas Secret Addiction

America is a nation of self-disclosers, amiably acceptant of our... Read More

Sensible Approach To Weight Loss

Losing weight is a tough and demanding task for most... Read More

Alternatives When Considering Liposuction

One alternative method to traditional and tumescent liposuction is mesotherapy.... Read More

A Personal Trainers...Holidaze

Rules of day to day no longer apply as you... Read More

Fat Does Not Make You Fat

Fat does Not Make You Fat. One of the other... Read More

Dieting? You Must Reset Your Weight-o-stat

You need to reset your weight-o-stat. No matter how much... Read More

Good Food/Bad Food Whats Left to Eat?

We've entered the Twilight Zone when it comes to the... Read More

Can Water Really Help You Lose Weight?

I believe that water not only helps with weight loss,... Read More

Weigh Loss and your Self Image ? Are You Worthy to Feel Better?

Maybe you losing weight comes down to the simple question,... Read More

Low Carb and Lowfat Diets...A Scam?!

If anyone knows anything about fitness, it's that a low... Read More

No One Ever Got Fat Eating Broccoli!

Diet tips for losing weight abound. Some are good, some... Read More

What is the Glycemic Index?

Over the last 30 years, research into food and blood... Read More

Not One Ounce -- Candy At Your House

Here come the candy canes. In our house, Santa always... Read More

Have You Tried These Weight Loss Tips?

The following are weight loss tips that you can start... Read More

The Cost of Gastric Bypass Surgery

The cost of gastric bypass surgery and other bariatric surgical... Read More

Dieters : Questions You Must Ask Yourself when You Want to Lose Weight

Now I know you're always asking yourself questions.You know the... Read More

Weight Loss - A Complex Issue - Learn More

Please feel free to comment, to provide good information and... Read More

Lose Weight with One Simple Mindset

Diabetes is one of the fastest growing diseases today. One... Read More

Motivation and Dieting - Whats the Missing Link?

If you are like everyone else who has hit rock... Read More